What am I, 15? No! I am not! I am 29 years old, for heaven's sake. So why am I sitting here, on the verge of tears, telling myself "It doesn't matter what ______ thinks!" over and over again? Why do these stupid, petty little things still get to me? Why are there certain people who have that ability bring this out in me? One of the joys of being a grown up is that I am supposed to have grown out of this crap. And for 99% of the time, I have. But then stuff like this happens, and I feel like I've flown in a time machine back to 1995, and all my dumb teenage anxiety and insecurities surface (minus the acne, thank goodness). Argh!
Sorry this is so vague and whiny. I know its annoying, I just had to get it out there, out of my system. I really can't and don't want to be more specific. Its not you.
"I'm a confident, grown-up woman. This person has no significance in my life. This does not matter. I am better than this." I'm just going to keep saying this until I believe it again. Which will be soon. Loud sigh.
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The life and times of the Beaman family, narrated by me.
The Beaman Family
We've been happily married since 2005. Jake is a devoted dad, animal lover, rockstar, and nursing home administrator. Erin is a stay-at-home mom, wannabe chef, and reluctant animal caregiver. Our first son, Wyatt, was born in 2007. He LOVES cars, trains, dinosaurs and playing with friends. Micah, born in 2009, is always on the move and looking for trouble. Our baby girl, Georgia, was born in 2010. She is sugar and spice and everything nice. We love living in our home by the sea!
Beaman Family 2011
Erin and Jake
Wyatt
Micah
Georgia
7 comments:
AMEN SISTA! I don't know what happened, or who has made you feel this way, but I am OBVIOUSLY way cooler than them, and I say that you are an amazing, caring, sweet, thoughtful, spiritual person who is a great wife, mother, and most importantly for me, FRIEND. (and roommate!) Seriously, Erin, I have nothing but respect for you and the person that you are.
And also, I totally have this problem of reverting back to the 6th grade in the blink of an eye. I know the feeling. It's not just you.
Oh, this is going to require a phone call:-) Inquiring minds want to know more.
I know what you're going through though. There is one person in my life that I find myself thinking the same dumb irrational thoughts about.
I think you're awesome in every way imaginable!
I love you.
Yep. Me too. I feel you, I truly do. Sorry it got to you.
You are awesome, fun, sensitive, smart, interesting, and beautiful. Who makes killer pie.
THANK YOU loyal supporters. It means a lot to me to hear (read) you say (type) those things. And I'm glad to know I am not the only one who gets this way. Thank you.
I have "mean girls" in my ward that act like they are about 15. I tell myself over and over that I don't care what they think but it can be hard. I tell myself that I have lots of great friends and I don't need anymore, so stop caring about what they think. Anyway, that's my story if it helps at all. You're amazing and don't let anyone make you feel you aren't!
Erin, you ROCK! Thanks for putting this out there. Makes me feel less weird, since I tend to have elementary-school-esque feelings toward people from time to time. Only I let it interfere with my sleep - tossing and turning and running over cool quips that I could've never come up with on the spot and that are too mean to actually come out of my mouth. But in the middle of the night, lying in bed ... betta watch out! In my head, I'm a meanie right back. Doesn't do me any good though, I've learned. And it drives my hubby nuts. But you?! YOU? No way. You are way too awesome to give it a second thought. You rock all our socks off with your cuteness, your amazing mother-ness and great wife-ness, and just general crazy coolness. Love you. Tons. Remember that, kay?
Erin! Why didn't you tell me. Geez. For craps sake just tell me who it is and I'll jump them. Like I always do.
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